Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I can now accept who I am, what I was born as…finally.



It really surprised me. I guess it shouldn’t have, the signs were all there. I mean, my sister told me of my tendencies-she said she had tried to correct me when I was very young- to go against my natural persuasion, forcing me to be more “main stream…” I have heard of people discovering their true self later in life, I just didn’t think it would happen to me…I made the discovery today…on a ladder. The revelation became apparent in a flash…and a sense of peace engulfed me. I felt good with the revelation, and I accepted the decision that I was different then I thought. I understand that my “new” tendencies had had many prejudices…but people were much more tolerant today of these “differences” than they ever had been. It would just take some getting used to.

I was born a certain way- but have lived another- a lie I guess. I would still maintain my learned behavior…it would be more practical-but now I would have the “newly accepted” way of life to experiment with, try out and see what new things I could try.

I discovered I was born left handed. Putting up the ceiling fan this morning, the screwdriver felt more “natural” in my left hand, and I was able to use it comfortably. My older sister told me that she had forced me to write with my right hand over and over as a young boy… she didn’t want me to be different. But now I am free of the provential thoughts that left handed people are "strange..." I will still write with my right hand...but maybe I should try left handed golf clubs…

You weren’t thinking something else were you???

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Chicken or the Egg? Electronic Holiday or way of life?



The electronic holiday continues...but I believe I may have to reconsider and call this an altered lifestyle. I like this feeling of not being tethered to the laptop or newschannels.

My buddy, Gil McCormack called the other night besides himself with the arrogance of Nancy Pelosi, and her staff. Calling her office, an aide informed Gil that he was hanging up, as he had honored Gil with enough of his time... Gil wanted me to call... I chose not to.

Thinking a lot about the chicken and the egg these days...which came first? The above political mess- are we working for the elected officials? Or are they serving at our pleasure? I find many are agreeing that they (officials) seem to be out of control. My goodness, I am in agreement once more with Michael Moore! I do have a slight conservative edge there.

Maybe the socialists are taking over?

What about my personal chicken and the egg? I was diagnosed with leukemia six years ago, since then I have tried to educate myself about the stides and possibilities of treatments. As well as the failures and "things to look out for..." Death was the biggest thing to watch for. I have seen many of my colleagues pass on.

Funny how we sometimes focus on those things we don't want to happen. Like bad cancer symptoms and death. Why should I look out for death. Do I not believe that the time and place of my demise is already known by God? I mean, the doctors are "practising" medicine. I have beaten the odds in life- in the past. Why should I become an average statistic now? If I believe this, whats the big deal? So why not focus on life? Focus on what I want to have happen? This is not new age stuff...but actual laws of cause and effect- laws of attraction that I have known for some time- but fear from the diagnosis has made my focus turn off Him, life, and the things I want...and turn onto the things I don't want to happen instead.

I am feeling good these days... maybe the avoidance of the numerous forums- I still check them daily- but limit my time... Maybe it is the books I read (reread)- "You Are What You Think", "Healing Yourself", "Laws of Attractions", and "The Bible".

Maybe it because I have turned off the 24/7 news talk- still informed- but not saturated endlessly by communication companies trying to fill dead air.

Maybe it is because I am riding my bike- 12 miles the other day- releasing the endorphins.

Maybe it is no longer focusing on the three Doctor's that told me I did not have long to live.

Maybe it's the Cal 101 trial I am on.

Don't know- really don't care.

Chicken? Egg? I like Colonel Sanders and Cheese Omelets...

Rush, Glenn, Rachel, Keith... wishing you the best. Continue on without me.



God Bless,

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

30 down, 30 to go


Today is the 30th anniversary of Denise's lapse of judgement... We were married on the banks of the Hillsborough River on St Patrick's day, 1980.

Both of us dislike corn beef and cabbage, so we choose Mexican tonight... Denise's tilapia came with the head on it...next time she will look for the word...filet.

30 down, 30 to go...

God Bless,

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Ming 1993-2010



Tough part of having a dog is when they die... Ming was a good dog- a crotchedy old guy like me. He lived a good life- and fought for life as long as possible. But cheating death is not possible forever...the body simply wears out.

He will be missed.