Monday? It's Monday again???

Now that I am on (I will call it temporary) disability...the days all blend together. None more distinctive than the other- especially in the summer when my granddaughters do not have school. I rise each day to the usual procedure...coffee is an necessary element, as is reading.  I am currently on an antibiotic regimen that is infused every morning and again in the evening...so I get that out of the way. A couple more weeks left on that- and hopefully none afterwards. Lunch, maybe (usually) a nap- as one friend describes naps- not a luxury if they are necessary. Afternoon reading- some fiction, some spiritual, some non fiction (I have several books going at once) eventually dinner and the news shows to see what I missed. I get most of my news these days from the television. Watching Fox, MSNBC, and occasionally CNN. I swear they drive in to work together to get their positions straight.

The daily newspaper is predictable...thick on Sunday's thin on Tuesdays... and medium sized the rest of the week. Not much to surprise me in the paper these days- with the 24 hour news cycles and all- but occasionally I find something of local interest.

Newspapers use to expand the issues- give great depth and substance to the abbreviated televised news stories. Now fighting for their survival in a digital world- they are economizing every chance they can. I have subscribed to a daily newspaper for over thirty years now- even when I spent seven months in Columbus- so I will miss it if it folds. The Tampa Tribune is the first newspaper I ever subscribed to... I did subscribe to the electronic newspaper for IPads- The Daily. It was very colorful, and a bit like USA Today- McPaper. It folded after a ten month run...

Anyway- now you know why I call this "Ramblings by Randy"...no agenda- like a visually challenged javelin thrower- I don't usually hit my target, but I do keep the crowd on it's toes.

Happy Father's Day

The fifth commandment states that "Thou Shall Honor thy Father and Mother..."

Today, Father's day, I will attempt to do so.  It is tough for me, my father has passed away 32 years ago, when I was a young man.  There are many unanswered questions- many things I would love to ask him man to man... I never had the chance. There were many years that I resented him- disliked his decisions, wanted to blame him for my challenges- my dysfunctional upbringing. Even though I know in my intellect, that as an adult I am responsible for my actions- there is a part of me that wants to blame Boyd for the trials and tribulations of my past.

Boyd Shannon was an imperfect man. His alcoholism and lack of self esteem created a family challenge that colors the way I see things today. The way I respond to things... 

Born and raised in Old Fort Tennessee he lost his father when he was a boy.  The third of five brothers and two sisters, he can easily be described as the black sheep of the family.  Boyd worked in the Republic Steel pickle plant, as a welder. The coils of steel needed to be cleansed with an acidic solution to get rid of the impurities...Boyd welded the coils together to allow for a continuous feed into the pickling process. On my birth certificate, it list's Boyd's occupation as a pickler. It was the worse place at the plant- the pickle house. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter...mind numbing redundancy.

Boyd hated his job- but like most of that "greatest generation" those that served in World War II, a job was a necessity. He left Tennessee after the war- marrying my mother and moving to Cleveland Ohio to work in the factories. Working at Republic Steel was a good paying middle class job, and many that worked there built a good life.  Boyd's alcoholism got in the way.  Fortunately or not- depending upon your stance- the unions were strong, and firing Boyd for repeated absences, a few jail drunk tank times and occasional instances of being sent home for being drunk at work was not an option...he retired from Republic Steel at age 62.

I am trying hard not to use this as references to his weaknesses. Age and mistakes of my own has taught me that Boyd did not arise every morning with the sole goal of screwing up his and his family's lives. He wanted to do good- but he did not have the consistency to do so. I think he felt beaten by it- the alcoholism- the insecurity that plagued him... He surrendered. He existed. But he gave me life, he gave me examples of what was right...and tried to do his best. 

He gave me life, and in his own way supported me until I left home to join the Air Force... He fished with me when I was five- then things went south. He loved to play the banjo- but stopped playing- and sold his banjo again around the time I was 5 or six years old. His marriage to my mother- 15 years his junior was a nightmare. His life after that point was pretty much mundane- he worked, and went to the bars. Many time I went with him, sitting on the bar stool drinking coca colas... God forgive me on some of the instances when he "stopped" drinking- the tenseness he displayed,  had me wishing he would start again. When he did, I was flooded with a mix or guilt, as if I had "wished" this into being.

There are several times I felt proud of him...while on disability- he had a nerve condition that caused him to be unable to walk for a couple of years- he read the Bible- from front to back.  He also had occasional burst where he would take us to church- but truthfully they were less than can be counted on one hand. He was able to return to work after a stint in the Veteran's Hospital (again thanks to the unions) and eventually remarried and had a somewhat normal life. He married a Tennessee girl he had dated as a young man,

When he retired at age 62 they moved back to Tennessee. He bought his second house (the first had been foreclosed) He didn't tell me he was moving- I found out when I went to visit him. His landlord told me.  Boyd died unexpectedly at age 67, after a night of drinking with an old drinking buddy. He had a heart attack the following day.

His challenges without a doubt made me try a little harder, expect more from myself, and fear alcoholism- even though I attempted to follow in his footsteps as a young man.

For that I love him and honor him this day.

Chinese Handcuffs (or why can't I remember my lessons?)

The lesson of Chinese Handcuffs are simple- the more you resist- the more they tighten and restrict. It is a pretty basic technology woven into the little buggers...and one of the hardest things for me to remember. Even though at 58, I can recount numerous times when I resisted something that looked bad, ultimately relented (relaxed) and saw the advantage (better solution) or rather the disadvantage I would have suffered if I had my own way initially...

Some call it "cosmic alliances"... I call it God's influence on my whole life. He seems to know what's better for me, ultimately- then I do.

My current health issues...I mean the leukemia seems somewhat under control- or at least maintainable- except for the issues revolving around past chemo treatments that have knocked off one kidney, caused malignant tumors to form in my ureter, and given me a resistant infection that required two infusions of antibiotics daily... they have gotten the better of me for some time- mentally (spiritually).

I forgot the lessons from the past... Blew out my knee...terrible- had to quit my job. Got a better career...that was the good that came from it. Grew up in a dysfunctional family- terrible- had to develop character and learn things on my own...succeeded far more than expected. Lost contact with a close friend- over an argument...his involvement in illegal activities might have sucked me in as well... Time reveals all. I need to fast forward to being thankful for the challenges now- because they will result in better things to come.

So it is time to relax...let Him take over. Quit trying to white knuckle this situation, and be open to what He presents.

New Age stuff? Nah, just good old scripture...you know- the Bible.

I will let you know how it goes. Now adjusting my seat back, buckling in for a smooth ride, and relaxing during the trip...:)

God Bless- he certainly has blessed me...

Stress... I ain't got no stinkin stress

It had to happen... Back in the "workforce"... playing the games that seem to capivate many...I got caught up in the drama of it all. I let the "pressures" build, my desire to succeed over ride my rational behavior. It is a jungle out there...

Last week, I ended the week feeling like I had a bowling ball in my gut. It was the usual roller coaster ride that accompanies the business world- especially in a recovering economy. The numbers looked bad... the sales were off- quite a bit orginally.. and I was at a loss. Reports were due- at the last moment- and I was traveling with one of my guys...

Back in the office I discovered the "challenge"... not as bad as it could be...

I wondered during the weekend if I had lost my mind- getting back into the mix... and of course, I had to go to Columbus on Monday for my every other month check up... seeing if I was still ok... my Chronic Lymphocrytic Leukemia was still being held in check.

It was- is.

Then it occurred to me. I have survived a virtual death sentence...Two years ago, I came home to "die". Yet, here I am... doing as I like to say "better than I deserve..." I reflected upon my life-I had pulled myself up from the slums of Cleveland...alcoholic dysfunctional family... I had beaten the odds- all looking rather bleak, but all turning out alright in the end. In retrospect, my life has been about overcoming obstacles... and I have done it when- and only when, I recall one important factor.

He has risen... He has forgiven me my sins. He is in control...

So I grabbed a few books- "Joseph", "Mere Christianity", along with a new testiment I received from the Promise Keepers back in 1998 and my all time favorite- "The Power of Positive Thinking" and placed them on my bedside. Bedtime reading. I took a copy of "Promise Keepers at Work" into work, and selected my play list of spiritual songs on my IPad...

I am relaxed. I know I am and will be ok- no matter what...He is in control. The email I received on the way home from the west coast, marked Urgent, that mandates a new battery of reports by noon tomorrow will be completed- in a calm orderly manner.

Thank God for all things.

Four Months and counting...

I have been back at it for four months now… jumping off the disability train and jumping into a sales management role with both feet. I will admit that occasionally I have asked myself… “What the hell were you thinking?” but truth be told, less than times than when I realize I am happy to be back at it. Working in the automotive aftermarket publishing world is fun. I get to see cool cars, like the Shelby above- a 2005 convertible with 90 miles on it. I really think that Texas car should be driven--- preferably by a full figured Floridian boy.

Trying to “manage” a sales team is sometimes like herding cats. Best I can hope for is to build upon the strengths of the individual, and inspire (hopefully not bore) through personal observations and past experiences. The new normal- actually is more old school- Let’s ask our clients what they want to accomplish- and present solutions from what we have in our arsenal. My company has magazines, the best content for automotive aftermarket on our numerous web sites, a couple of TV programs, events, radio, and of course licensing opportunities…With publications like Motor Trend, Hot Rod, Mopar Muscle, Truckin, Super Street, and a group more… we really are the big gorilla in the room. Anyway, I am traveling again, still no upgrades from Delta, but AMEX loves me. My team has unique individuals who bring a lot to the table. My main job is to stay out of there way…

The industry seems to have changed a bit- the “new” normal seems to be cautious. I can see weariness in both my colleagues as well as some of our advertisers. I joke that we should do a special publication called “Survivors” for the businesses that made it through the trying times of the last couple of years. The reality is that there are many missing colleagues- as well as some missing businesses and competitive publications.

But I really think the worse is behind us... Time to rebuild ourselves...

Just checking in for those that care… Tomorrow- The beach in the "current" Mustang convertible, then off to Molly's for a lunch of Grouper, Shrimp, and the best Buffalo Wings imaginable.

Life is good.



God Bless,

Road Weary

I checked in with the Ohio State crew- Dr. Byrd, Margaret, and staff. They wanted to check a few other things out- so I had a CT scan and a Bone Marrow Biopsy... The CLL seems to be stalled- which works for me- but is still there. I relate it to having high blood pressure- or diabetes- manageable. There are a lot of new areas of research- and Dr. Byrd would like to have more data before any changes are made- me too. With my pedestrian view- I think if it isn’t broke- don't fix it. The truth is I am past my shelf life- but only God knows when it's time for me to rotate out.

I was in Indianapolis again last week- and spent some time with some old friends, people from ARMO (Automotive Restoration Market Association) and some Magazine colleagues. One of the reasons I had to come back to this automotive aftermarket is that this is such a fun industry. We work hard- but all seem to have a burning passion to get it right.

The transition to the working world- and more and more digital influence has been interesting. Learning about QR Codes, social media, presenting multimedia presentations... challenging- but fun. I love my IPhone. A few weeks ago I did a social experiment with Foursquare- I "checked in" everywhere I went for two weeks... Airports, Hotels, Clients, Restaurants...and the information were duplicated and posted on Face book. After two weeks, I decided it was not that cool- and anyone who needed to know that I was at Harry and Izzies eating shrimp cocktail in Indianapolis- well, I would make sure they knew about personally.

One funny thing was that a friendly competitor told me his boss came out of his office and told him "Randy is at a NAME WITHHELD place of business". Guess surfing the web is an acceptable form of business strategy these days= another good reason not to post all things- keep em wondering.

So in all- things are well. Still horizontal and moving forward. Trip to Dallas next week- then I will spend three or four weeks at home...almost warm enough to get into the pool.

God Bless,

On the Road Again

It has been awhile- thought I would give a brief update.

I am back- soon to be in the good graces of Delta as a frequent flyer. Since January 3rd I have traveled to Manhattan, LA, Ft Lauderdale, and I am currently in Indianapolis (one of my favorite cities...)

As the Eastern Sales Director, I have been doing four legged calls with my team... within Florida... Next Sunday I do a road trip from Baltimore to Philly, over to New Jersey, Ct, a weekend in Vermont, then NH and CT again... Dallas after that.

I feel great- like I have a second chance--- and I am very grateful.

God Bless,