You know that computer game where you use your mouse (as a hammer) and try to whack the head of a mole as it pops up from one burrow hole to another...but the thing is relentless- on and on it pops up... and you keep trying to whack it back down.
That’s what I feel this cancer thing is like...CLL, Bladder, Kidney...all my cancers that crop up and cause unrest and concern. What caused them? Maybe smoking in my youth caused the bladder cancer, BCG- as a very caustic chemo for the Bladder (knocking my immune system out of whack) may have kick started the CLL, Cytoxan to keep the CLL in check- may be the culprit that caused the removal of my right cancerous kidney, and Dexamethosone- giving me energy while knocking down my lymp nodes is my suspected cause in my frequent bladder cancer tumor recurrence...The dexamthasome seems to “rough” up my bladder... kicking my superficial bladder cancer into gear. Tumors begin to grow- and I have had four transurethral bladder cancer surgeries since last November to keep it in check- taking it a full circle.
This is the first day of being off the steroids---I have energy- spent a great day out and about- and now I suspect tumors are growing once more in my bladder...
That happened before when I was on the roids... prior to making numerous BMW payments for my Urologist. It has been superficial- and as an out patient-but a pain to deal with no matter what.
Dr Byrd seems to think the bladder cancer is secondary... and truthfully I guess it is...The CLL takes priority... It is just a pain.
It is just a bit tiresome to deal with the cause and effect suspicions...and the whack a mole mentality of dealing with cancer...
The battle continues...day by day.
God Bless,
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