Focus

Some of you may notice the removal of my posts concerning my childhood. The intent of this exercise was to lay it out and look at it as objectively as I could. In the past I have felt a great deal of shame and embarrassment associated with the actions of my parents. This is of course ridiculous. As an adult I have endeavored not to have ownership for the mistakes of others... the intent of these posts was was not to blast my parents- I truly felt they themselves were victims...who created other victims. My ultimate goal in my life is to break the chain...I try very hard to "honor my parents", as the commandment mandates.

I also have become aware of the necessity of focus...and maintain a lifelong attempt to give thanks for all things. I give thanks for my parents...they have made me the man I am today. I give thanks for my illness...the leukemia has given me greater insights of what is important (at least in my life).

I have become aware that this exercise has made some uncomfortable...so poof they are gone...digital magic.

Stay tuned for some positive news...

God Bless,

Proud Papa

This week I was able to help my nine year old granddaughter secure a library card...and watched her excitement when she found a book she wanted to read..."Diary of a Wimp..." volume three...

I secured my card from the Cleveland Public Libraries- Brooklyn Branch on 25th and Riverside... forty nine years ago...card nummber BN 3262...

Let me give you Money---Please.

That is the title of a book my friend Gil and I plan on writing. It is concerning the frustration one experiences when trying to get quotes, jobs done, and services-finding some people just don’t get back to you… Contrary to what you might think- bad economy and all- having responsive tradesmen is a rarity.

Example One: My garage… I called the “premiere” builder in my town- trying to stay local. He came out and we spoke and discussed what I wanted- and explained the last garage I built was my “pride and joy”… I wanted something of similar status- a three car garage- maybe some additional storage area. Because we are in a “historic” area of the community- and because we like to have things that blend well- we needed someone who knew the community, the regulations, and could satisfy everyone’s needs. He left after spending over an hour with us, saying he would give us a call with some ideas… I was ready- check in hand…

Have you heard from him? He never called. This turned out to be fortuitous since the economy took a nose dive… but I was ready willing and able to move forward.

Example Two: Because of the economy, we lowered our sights and decided to put in a “cement pond”- so we could bear to be out of the air conditioned house in the summer. Again, I called for quotes- pulling one name from the local mix and several from nearby Tampa… The local guys finally came by- after I recalled them repeatedly- we spent some time in the back yard discussing the vision. Coming to their office to see the plans, I found them ill prepared. I made the appointment early- prior to a flight. The fellow who came out to our house delegated the plans to a co worker- and after pointing out several missteps in the presentation- we decided to reconvene after they prepared accurate plans that reflected what we really wanted.

I think he and my garage builder have run off together- yep, no word from him…even though I was pretty clear we would be swimming in the back yard by memorial day…

Trying to cover the floors in the man cave after I have reinforced them with new sub flooring had me seeking a carpet installation.

I think you might understand my motivation in whining about this issue...I had expected to be completed several weeks ago... two companies- no measurements yet...

I guess the economy is not as bad as it seems.

Out of the Trough

Interstate Driving. The passion 0f military visionary President Eisenhower made it possible to drive from one end of the country to the other without really experiencing the feel of "middle America." Ike felt the Germans really had a military advantage with the Autobahn-moving troops about with speed- and used it as a guide for the US interstate system. It is rumored that the system includes straight stretches along the way for possible aircraft landings... in the event of an emergency.

I call the generic vision of the interstate system a trough, as if the roadway was placed after a scoop had cut through the trees and countryside--- making it almost impossible to distinguish whether you are in Arkansas or Oregon... Sure, it's speedy travel- but with no heart and soul.

On a recent drive from Florida to Ohio, to visit the Guru Dr. Byrd at OSU (St James Resort), I pointed the car north, and pulled off the ramp from I-75. I programed Dora the Explorer-my GPS- to keep me off the interstate systems...and take me up the highways driving through the towns that we usually only see as names on road signs on the interstate. Instead of the steady barrage of "Pedro's South of the Border" or Fireworks signs and occasional beckoning from Stuckey's and some Adult shops that promise truck parking, I found neat farms and homes, numerous Main Streets with town squares, ball fields well mowed and ready for the softball or little league games that bring neighbors together. I saw a great deal of entrepreneurial spirit. Flip's Body Shop had signed on both ends of his northern Kentucky town. Local Insurance Agents, Realtors, Contractors, Carpenters all filling the needs of the local population. All Americans who are contributing to our country, paying their taxes, planning their vacations, saving for retirement and the education for their children. I saw American pride...in the up keep of their homes, their communities. Sure there were exceptions- but on the whole, pride abounds. The American spirit lives in middle America.

It gave me a mixed feeling of nostalgia and pride.

This is an America that seems to have slipped by our politicians... an America that works hard- saves wisely, a frugal America. An America that expects the next year to be better than the last. Where neighbors help neighbors---not because they are required to- but because it is the right thing to do...and an America that expects the neighbor to pull themselves up with their help- not languish in self pity- so they can help others as well.

The rampant spending, social programs that inhibit growth and keep a class if not races of people down trodden simply has not worked... It will not work.

Middle America knows this...

This is my America...your America- our America. Filled with legal residents and aspiring immigrants: all looking for the pursuit of happiness, the freedom to live their lives unencumbered...

Please be sure to pull off the interstate sometimes to see it for yourself... and get out of the trough...

Please make sure you vote...

God Bless

Tired of it

Another CLL warrior lost her battle to Leukemia yesterday. My “forum” friend Penny from West Virginia passed away after a battle that was just too overwhelming for her to continue. She consulted with the best- Dr. Byrd at OSU--- but sometimes there are no further options. Sometimes the beast wins.

She leaves behind a dazed husband, two sons- one who serves his country in the military, and of course many of us who spoke to her on the telephone and communicated by way of CLL forums.

She was a passionate OSU fan...

I have seen too many depart well before their time- fighting valiantly to the end: leaving behind wives, husbands, children, and of course many grieving friends.

Their names blur together- the memorial services, trees planted, candles lit, prayers prayed. It seems so unfair. I know we all must “die”. I am just tired of being so close and personal to it these last six years.

Enough already...say a prayer for her family...

God Bless,

Relaxing in the Serengeti

I have renamed my backyard pool the Serengeti... ever since my granddaughter asked why I don't swim---I just stand there.

How I spent my afternoon...

waiting waiting waiting Moffitt time.

IVIG day. I am on day 20 instead of 28- so the powers to be had to determine whether or not to give me my go juice. I said- what the heck, I am here anyway. Let's break out that puppy and go for it.

But I am waiting for the final decision...

When I am 64

I received my new drivers license today... the state of Florida renews every eight years. My next renewal will be in 2018...

I will be 64!!!! What the heck happened? I was just 25?????

Retirement agrees with me

Back on Cal 101... the energy has returned- I can swing the hammock again- with gusto.

It has been some time since I last posted. I was recounting my "oops" incident while on holiday... I wound up in the hospital at the "St James Resort..." otherwise known as the James Cancer Center at Ohio State University. Prior to that I was feeling great. As I am again feeling good, thankfully.

I visit them (the fine staff at Ohio State- Dr. Byrd, Mona, Margaret and Wayung Hu) again in early October...Depending upon how I feel- it might be a great time to put the top down on the mustang and spend several days driving up via highways- not interstate. My own version of the Hot Rod Power Tour

I am also easing back into my duties at the mancave... I cleaned the shed- arranged the tools, car ramps, etc... and will start and hopefully finish the floor project within the next two weeks. Denise's car needs an oil change- so sometime this week.

I also- being retired and with time to spare- decided against laying sod and installing an irrigation system at the Plant City hovel- I have broadcasted seeds and 'feed' and bought an excellent sprinkler. When we do not have the torrential downpours Florida is famous for in the summer...I place the sprinkler in the yard and watch if "sprinkle"...and look for green to appear from under the hay. I am also considered a "cheap bastard" -the savings have been outstanding...

I have once again resumed my twice daily long walks with Quincy the Wonder Dog- carefully training him to make his doggie deposits in what I call the "Poop Free Zone"- an area that does not require I "pick up..." Most times he holds his urges until the proper location is reached- and is rewarded with a doggie treat. For those times when nature must be answered... I carry a plastic bag. Always a responsible citizen.


For those few of you that may have wondered where I have been- from the subject matter, well I guess the wait was hardly worth it... Not much else happening... just living life-despite what the doctors may say...

For my conservative friends...



God Bless,

Oops- a change in plans

Traveling up the east coast- Savannah, Hilton Head, Myrtle Beach, DC, Vermont, then inland-PA- with the ultimate destination- a visit for my Cal 101 clinic with Ohio State University... Home scheduled for today...back to Quincy and the granddaughters. We left July 9th...

oops.

Seems I may have something called PCP pneumonia. I am a guest at the St James Resort (James Cancer Clinic-OSU)with an oxygen hose draped around my head, IV's full of antibiotics chugging into my chest, and an O2 monitor clipped to my toe- typing with it clipped to my finger was not working.

Best laid plans. Denise and I had a great time- I felt great, up until several days ago- developing a cough and chest congestion. I had my CT Scan, and saw my coordinator on Friday for my two month supply of the drugs. I wound up admitted which strangely enough was a good thing. I had several bouts of 102,7 degree temperature, and until today felt pretty lousy. I would hate to have that happen on the first night of our two day trip home, roughly around Cleveland Tennessee.

My main Doc, my Guru, was on vacation last week- I emailed him last night and he emailed me immediately and came in to see me today... why I come to OSU- world renowned Doc- dropping in to see how I am doing in jeans and a golf shirt...

I am feeling pretty good today- still having some occasional coughing, but things could be worse.

Well that's the update...more when I hear it.

God Bless,

Celebrate- Honor- Give Thanks

We Earned It...Now Let's keep our Independence alive.

God Bless those that have preserved our God Given rights to be free men and women...

God Bless America.

All's well

Monday was an in and out simple surgery- as usual. Now just sitting here, waiting for the green light to get out and become "less attached".

God Bless,

A day at the clinic...

I spent last Monday at Moffitt Cancer center in preparation for another bladder surgery next week... I will do that Monday, June 21st- the longest day of the year. It is a minor out patient procedure that is pretty basic. Minimal down time...I call it a scrape and run... Dark humor I suppose.

I figure I have had 20 of these procedures since 1998. The doctor I use here is good...young, and moldable. He is my ninth Urologist. I guess I am not an easy patient. I expect certain give and take- communications from my Doctors. I have lowered my expectations concerning the Moffett Center however...

The Moffitt experience, in my opinion, is the preview of what we can expect when the government has more control of our health care...Socialized Medicine. Communication is minimal, things are done in isolated blocks- my Hematologist is not consulting with my Urologist-the blood test for surgery are not coordinated with my IVIG test needed in two days. The procedures do not seem very "patient" friendly... and more to the advantage of the doctors and staff. Arrival for an appointment means at leat a 45 minute wait to see the Doctor- or in many cases, his PA... I bristled last time I was relegated to the PA's assistant... I don't believe there is a price break when I see someone who cannot act without talking to the Doctor...Not that he is feeling the pulse of what is going on...I suspect my Hem Doc has no idea I will be there at all... and won't until he reads my file just before I see him in August.

I maintain my relationship with Moffitt for a very self serving reason. If my CLL kicks in, as it has in the past... the Direct Referral Center is excellent- the hospital staff- floor residents are excellent-Better than the local hospital--- not Ohio State quality- but okay for the Tampa Bay area.

My Hem Doc however has never stood bedside during my five stays- and the one time I spotted him in the hallway, he avoided me like he owed me $20.00. Ironically, I received an email while in Moffitt from Dr. Byrd in Ohio- just checking how I was doing.

There are more "procedural things at Moffitt than Ohio State, or Dartmouth for that matter. I need to stand in several lines and check in so I can be inspected and all boxes are checked and matrix's are satisfied. Doesn't seem to matter that I just gave the information to someone else on the second floor... procedures must be maintained.

I think I have a skull and crossbones appear when my records come up on the computer screen... I ask the question, "Why?", and sincerely expect an answer that makes sense. I am often disappointed. I have to be alert for what is going on- not just trusting that things are done for my best interest... I cancelled a CT Scan since that is not necessary for this surgery, and the radiation like 500 chest XRAYS each time you have one- I really don't care if it the "procedure" mandated... There are procedures to follow...and some to ignore... just like the government.

The really funny thing was when I needed a form signed by my Hem Doc for a disability break on my property taxes... The records department stated I was not his patient. I tried to be light hearted, and mentioned that I had just seen him last week- I said hello, he acknowledged me...in his exam room of course-file in hand. The genius on the other end of the line stated that just cause a Doctor says hello, doesn't mean I am his patient... Lowered expectations...

I did receive a bill several days later for a co-pay from that visit... that they get right.

I am just a crabby old guy, I guess...

God Bless,

I stayed home instead...

I was going to go... I even cleaned the Mustang, put the cover on it, and was ready to hit the road this morning- nine hours to Chattanooga, the Hot Rod Power Tour... a seven day event where muscle cars and classic hot rods travel from one city to the next... with a car show in each destination. A car guy's dream.

I would have seen a lot of friends, old clients, and some really cool cars. I use to work for the publishing company that started it all- Hot Rod, Car Craft and dozens of other specialty magazines. The "Long Haulers"- the enthusiasts that travel the whole way, leave Bowling Green KY tomorrow morning and arrive around 12:00 in Chattanooga... my old friend Corky Coker(Coker Tire) is even sponsoring the day in southern Tennessee. Thursday they travel to Birmingham, and on Friday and Saturday they are in Mobile AL for the wrap up... I have been to 8 of these...every one of them a blast. Heck, just hanging out on the Hot Rod "rock star bus" is cool.

My granddaughter woke me this morning- jumping on my bed, and I decided to spend some time with her in the pool instead...

Priorities seem to have shifted...

God Bless,

In Honor of those that have Sacrificed...

Thank you to all Men and Women who have left the comfort of their homes to serve and defend our nation...

We will never forget the sacrifice many have made to allow us to live as free people.

God Bless

Don't touch that dial-God is in control

I believe God is healing me...

It may be through CAL 101, via John Byrd and the good folks at Calistoga Pharmaceutical, but I believe He is directing my "healing".

Last year when I came home to "fade away", I began spending more time with Him- in His word, in prayer... He decides when I check out. The phase one CAL 101 has allowed me to see a future... focus on other things than the constant focus of CLL that has consumed my life since 2004. God has given me the confidence to move forward.

I apologize to my CLL Forum Friends- regular and Christian: I guess I should be more diligent in posting, outlining my trial experiences...The trial I am on is pretty good. It has given me more energy, and best of all- hope.

I like/love the people from the forums,We have a strong bond that ties us together... a terminal illness. I followed many, and have seen many lose their battle. I have contributed for over six years now, starting with a Lymphoma forum before CLL Forum and CLL Christian Friends existed. I rarely frequent them these days- just a quick check to see how people are, then off living life and focusing on other things. I need to focus on something else for awhile. Besides, the real advice is to seek a qualified CLL Specialist and leave the strip mall oncologists alone. Beyond that, give control and thanks to Him that really IS in control, our heavenly father. He will direct your path.

Permanent electronic holiday continues.

Going to read a book--- not a Kindle, but a dead tree book.

God Bless,

Open response to a comment

Please do not attempt to pigeon hole me based on one comment/reading... I will try and offer you the same courtesy.

I watched Fox as well as MSNBC..both are extreme at times.I listened to Glenn Beck, as well as Randi Rhodes... I want to slap both of them. I believe the two ride to work together to get their pro wrestling like tag team material ready... I have turned them both off. Classic Rock on XM is more soothing.

I read two newspapers, and watch the local news. I am still informed.

The comment in question- two blogs ago- was from a Pravda article--- you know, the former mouthpiece of the Soviet Union.

Truth does matter... Unfortunately I am not sure we are getting it from either side of the aisle...Bush, Obama, Clinton. Arlan Sprecter, Chris Dodd, Mark Sanford, Mark Souder... they begin to blur. I listened to Charles Rangell several years ago, at a law school graduation..thinking, 'while I don't agree with him on many items, I believe he is a Patriot and serving our country'. Since then I see him a bit more self serving. While a $175,000 income is above average- how does Charlie and his cohorts on the hill-both sides of spectrum, become multi millionaires??? Maybe the legislators should hold seminars for the unemployed.

I strangly enough agree with some of Michael Moore (some) and some of Ron Paul... I believe the good intentions to help some people have crippled them and made a serf like class that is hard to break out of...I speak from experience. I also agree that a Capitalist model does not work for government. Neither does the socialist sharing the fruits of all labors... The grasshoppe and Ant fable come to mind.

I also see capitalist endeavors that are pulling the healthcare from their retired non union workers. Moving jobs to Mexico and China, to save a few dollars.

The model that best works for me is the Judeo-Christian beliefs that our country was founded upon... encouraging hard work, self reliance, and giving your neighbors a helping hand... The US is famous for giving to the less fortunate. New tax laws will reduce the amount that can be deducted, but I suspect those that give from the heart will continue no matter what.

I believe we as a country can regain our footing...

I believe in God and his word.

God Bless,

Filler Post

I see that some people have thumbnails of the blogs they follow- so I wanted to change the image of my blog, so as not to have an offensive thumbnail appear on someones page... The quick flash might leave someone to suggest they are sympathetic to the communist manifesto...

Nothing to report- went to the Doctor yesterday- Moffitt, and after a fifty five minute wait... spent 15 with a PA. Still feeling well... I suggested that I would see them in three months...and continue with my IVIG there. That feeds the "pig", $10,000 a month to keep me on their roster. I want to keep them in the loop, should I ever need hospitalization- they are much better than the local Hospital- but Ohio State is still calling the shots. I would gladly walk away from Moffitt, but instead have come to an unofficial understanding with them... I considered doing the IVIG in Ohio, buit I have worked them into an every other month schedule...and this monthly treatment is a supposed boost to my immune system, and pretty foolproof... open the bottle- inject and ignore.

So with lowered expectations, Moffitt has become my path of least likely resistance. Maybe that can be their new advertising campaign.

"Moffitt Cancer Center"
we ain't that great, but we will do in a pinch..."

Guess getting out of the advertising bizz was a good thing...

Now, got to get outside...I suggest you all do the same...

God Bless,

Slippery Slope? More like a Luge run...

From Pravda Online...

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather then the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas then the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their "right" to choke down a McDonalds burger or a BurgerKing burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our "democracy". Pride blind the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different "branches and denominations" were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the "winning" side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the "winning" side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox churches are scandalously liberalized in America.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America's short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more then another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Wiemar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, loses and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more then ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bailout after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties and powers of the American congress (parliament). Again, congress has put up little more then a whimper to their masters.

Then came Barack Obama's command that GM's (General Motor) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of "pure" free markets, the American president now has the power, the self given power, to fire CEOs and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will. Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.

So it should be no surprise, that the American president has followed this up with a "bold" move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies. I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too. Prime Minister Putin, less then two months ago, warned Obama and UK's Blair, not to follow the path to Marxism, it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our "wise" Anglo-Saxon fools find out the folly of their own pride.

Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper...but a "freeman" whimper.
So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set "fair" maximum salaries, evaluate performance and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses? Senator Barney Franks, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment, has led this effort. He stresses that this only affects companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.

The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.

The proud American will go down into his slavery with out a fight, beating his chest and proclaiming to the world, how free he really is. The world will only snicker.
Stanislav Mishin

Feeling Patriotic

No bigmessage- just wanted to
1) Change the image of Wayne Dyer
2) put up an image that indicates the pride of being an American.

No excuses, yes- we do have a lot more than others... we do have a lot more to be thankful of... Now we need to make sure all that follow can enjoy the quality of life we have enjoyed- and not be indebted to some social experiment that works only in the minds of scholarly schmerers who have not produced anything tangible...


Yes, chief among those that seem to be altering our country would be our President...




God Bless us all,

No weeds in the garden- nope- not a horitcultural story.

Dr. Wayne Dyer's Diagnosis from Parade Magazine...
Q How is motivational guru Dr. Wayne Dyer doing since being diagnosed with cancer?--Joe DeLaigle, Newport News, Va.

A "I don't think of it as cancer," Dyer, 69, says. "It's chronic lymphocytic leukemia, not life-threatening, and it's been a great blessing in my life. We're all infinite spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. Find that within yourself.'"

Wrong...

I believe in positive thinking, that you attract those things to you that you focus upon... I also believe that if I step off a cliff...I will fall... I understand that some disagree... They may say:

There are no weeds in my yard...
There are no weeds in my yard...
There are no weeds in my yard...
There are no weeds in my yard...
There are no weeds in my yard...

Chances are the yard will be overrun with weeds.

Some people will sit and cry softly- about the weeds in their yards...

I guess I am of the school that you see the weeds, pull them and move on...

BIBLE VERSE WARNING...

Luke 9:62

Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

Dr Dyer has made a few shekels pumping his books and tapes- so chances are he has a gardener....there are no weeds in his Hawaiian estate.

That or he simply levitates over them...

Sometimes things happen that just don't fit into our plans... getting CLL at age 49 wasn't part of my master plan...

Dr. Dyer does have cancer- Chronic Lymphocritc Leukemia... and fortunately, it appears he has a very mild treatable form...he can "Watch and Wait..." I pray he can do so for many many years. At age 69, he may never need to have treatment...

Others are not so lucky... Ed Bradley, Tom Synder lost their CLL battle. I also see at least one collegue from my forums per quarter who seem to lose their battle. Their families would disagree with Dr. Dyer's diagnosis about it not being life threatening.

A lot of what Dr. Dyer and other guru's spout off on are real...and worth following. I have read many of the self help books- the PMA manuals... I agree with many of the truths... especially from the more humble of the authors who acknowledge that the new ideas are not new- but nature's laws... God's laws. If you want to lighten the load of your library- you can find all this in one book- The Bible. Not as sexy and exciting to read...and Jesus will not send you a free copy if you donate to PBS...but the source of the truths none the less.

I believe in God... I believe that sometimes bad things happen to good people---and there is a reason not yet known to us why this may occur. This requires us to have faith in His plan. Not give up, not focus on the negative, and not "wish" it away.

I believe God works through inspiration of our Doctors... New research. New treatments.

BIBLE VERSE WARNING...

Matthew 5:45
that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

My old paster said it well, "Take the best and leave the rest."

I will keep Dr. Dyer in my prayers.

God Bless,

Truths...

Life is hard. Sometimes we make it harder than we should- but sometimes it throws things at us that can knock our socks off...

The truth is, instead of wallowing in the mire, whining and moaning about what lowly things have befallen us... take a moment- if you have any cognisant memory, and remember a time that something bad happened, and it turned out to be a good thing. Focusing on that, and wondering what may result "good" in your current situation helps you move the ball forward.

Granted, it is less dramatic and not as much coddling goes on... but being "hopeful" and getting back up from a set back is what defines a successful life...

Life is tough, grab a helmet.

WARNING>>>BIBLE Verse.... for all of you too cool for that, check out some other reference... I don't want to offend your sensibilities... I am sure Paris Hilton or Star Trek, or even the cast from real housewives can give you some other advice... of course they might not have good answers.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

God Bless,

Out to Lunch-Gone Fishing...whatever...

I have been absent from the electronic scene...at least not as "present" as I have been in the past.

Not blogging as much, ranting and raving about the economy...the officials. Somehow the world has continued on without my anxiety. I do not condone sticking one's head in the sand. But sometimes enough is truly enough.

I have not been lurking in the leukemia forums, looking for new symptoms to indicate my demise. I do check the progress of my friends...and pray accordingly.

But the funny thing is that if you look hard enough, you will find the "signs" and symptoms you want to avoid.

Self fulfilling prophecy. Hmmmm.

Quite frankly, I am doing well... no real challenges, enjoying life, increased energy. I guess living life has made me too busy to dwell on line. Sort of reminds me of when I was a 23 year old, when I first came to Tampa...my family worried (somewhat)because I rarely called home...but my rationale was that I busy enjoying myself- I might not call as much as if I was miserable down here...

Trying to remember what the goal is... to live well.

Cockeyed, maybe selfish rationale- but I stick by it...

All is well, Life is good.

God Bless,

I can now accept who I am, what I was born as…finally.

It really surprised me. I guess it shouldn’t have, the signs were all there. I mean, my sister told me of my tendencies-she said she had tried to correct me when I was very young- to go against my natural persuasion, forcing me to be more “main stream…” I have heard of people discovering their true self later in life, I just didn’t think it would happen to me…I made the discovery today…on a ladder. The revelation became apparent in a flash…and a sense of peace engulfed me. I felt good with the revelation, and I accepted the decision that I was different then I thought. I understand that my “new” tendencies had had many prejudices…but people were much more tolerant today of these “differences” than they ever had been. It would just take some getting used to.

I was born a certain way- but have lived another- a lie I guess. I would still maintain my learned behavior…it would be more practical-but now I would have the “newly accepted” way of life to experiment with, try out and see what new things I could try.

I discovered I was born left handed. Putting up the ceiling fan this morning, the screwdriver felt more “natural” in my left hand, and I was able to use it comfortably. My older sister told me that she had forced me to write with my right hand over and over as a young boy… she didn’t want me to be different. But now I am free of the provential thoughts that left handed people are "strange..." I will still write with my right hand...but maybe I should try left handed golf clubs…

You weren’t thinking something else were you???

Chicken or the Egg? Electronic Holiday or way of life?

The electronic holiday continues...but I believe I may have to reconsider and call this an altered lifestyle. I like this feeling of not being tethered to the laptop or newschannels.

My buddy, Gil McCormack called the other night besides himself with the arrogance of Nancy Pelosi, and her staff. Calling her office, an aide informed Gil that he was hanging up, as he had honored Gil with enough of his time... Gil wanted me to call... I chose not to.

Thinking a lot about the chicken and the egg these days...which came first? The above political mess- are we working for the elected officials? Or are they serving at our pleasure? I find many are agreeing that they (officials) seem to be out of control. My goodness, I am in agreement once more with Michael Moore! I do have a slight conservative edge there.

Maybe the socialists are taking over?

What about my personal chicken and the egg? I was diagnosed with leukemia six years ago, since then I have tried to educate myself about the stides and possibilities of treatments. As well as the failures and "things to look out for..." Death was the biggest thing to watch for. I have seen many of my colleagues pass on.

Funny how we sometimes focus on those things we don't want to happen. Like bad cancer symptoms and death. Why should I look out for death. Do I not believe that the time and place of my demise is already known by God? I mean, the doctors are "practising" medicine. I have beaten the odds in life- in the past. Why should I become an average statistic now? If I believe this, whats the big deal? So why not focus on life? Focus on what I want to have happen? This is not new age stuff...but actual laws of cause and effect- laws of attraction that I have known for some time- but fear from the diagnosis has made my focus turn off Him, life, and the things I want...and turn onto the things I don't want to happen instead.

I am feeling good these days... maybe the avoidance of the numerous forums- I still check them daily- but limit my time... Maybe it is the books I read (reread)- "You Are What You Think", "Healing Yourself", "Laws of Attractions", and "The Bible".

Maybe it because I have turned off the 24/7 news talk- still informed- but not saturated endlessly by communication companies trying to fill dead air.

Maybe it is because I am riding my bike- 12 miles the other day- releasing the endorphins.

Maybe it is no longer focusing on the three Doctor's that told me I did not have long to live.

Maybe it's the Cal 101 trial I am on.

Don't know- really don't care.

Chicken? Egg? I like Colonel Sanders and Cheese Omelets...

Rush, Glenn, Rachel, Keith... wishing you the best. Continue on without me.



God Bless,

30 down, 30 to go

Today is the 30th anniversary of Denise's lapse of judgement... We were married on the banks of the Hillsborough River on St Patrick's day, 1980.

Both of us dislike corn beef and cabbage, so we choose Mexican tonight... Denise's tilapia came with the head on it...next time she will look for the word...filet.

30 down, 30 to go...

God Bless,

Ming 1993-2010

Tough part of having a dog is when they die... Ming was a good dog- a crotchedy old guy like me. He lived a good life- and fought for life as long as possible. But cheating death is not possible forever...the body simply wears out.

He will be missed.

Electronic Holiday continues...

So, I am extending my electronic holiday… I am not listening to talk radio, I am not spending hours on the forums…Occasional news- by newspaper, local telecast and the fox evening broadcast… I have my XM tuned to classic vinyl.

I am just out there doing what I know is right, day by day.

I have had some friends visit, so that has helped keep me off the CLL focus… and a few projects that I am trying to get through- so I am not sitting on the couch eating bon bons…

As for how the electronic withdrawal is going- I do recall the early days of my career, when I was selling yellow page ads with index cards and not a fax, blackberry, cell phone, or lap top in sight. I did have a good understanding of where all the “good” phone booths and bathrooms were… I got my news from the local and big three telecasts once a day… My radio was tuned to music. And yet somehow I survived, as did the world.

Guess I am saying that being plugged in and accessible 24/7 may not be a great thing at all times…

On the health front- I saw my Urologist, and for the first time since February 2008, I do NOT have a bladder surgery scheduled…I have had 7 since then… CLL wise, my lymph nodes seem to be getting smaller and smaller- Byrd and staff at Ohio State seem to be pleased with the progress so far... As for my energy improvement, it seems to be there- at least as good as can be expected for a fat fifty-five year old guy.

I am off the numerous drugs-sleeping pills to sleep, speed to stay awake, just one antibiotic and the CAL 101= five pills a day now...

Live is good, abundant, and I am getting healthier day by day.

Columbus next week for another "great" check up...brrrr.

Just Ramblin…

God Bless,

Electronic Holiday

I have been absent for awhile... Taking an electronic holiday. Thinking---focusing on what I want to happen, what I am thankful for...getting older, good health, abundance, good friends... family, how fortunate I am. I am focusing on being calmer... not focusing on CLL, or even crazy politicians.

I am avoiding the negatives...I do check the forums once a day. Take a light stroll through Facebook, and file my automatic CLL emails for later review. I have also switched channels from Fox and MSNBC, given Rush, Glenn, Laura and Sean a break... and began doing what my grandfather did on a regular basis- sat and reflected- focused on what he wanted to happen. Then he did it...

I am praying calmly- not in fear, anger, or desperation.

Thought I would let anyone know who might be interested. I am fine--better than fine. I am doing great. Top down, XM on...future so bright, I have to wear shades...

God Bless

Ten Books for Political Hopefuls: Old School

1. Crooked Politics for Dummies, By Rep Charlie Rangel.

Subtitled : How I raised my net worth to millions, earning only $175,000 a year

2. How to use your influence to obtain a low interest mortgage, by Senator Chris Dodd.

Subtitled: How to retire in style before they get wise and run you off.

3. Use Turbo Tax Errors for Profit, by Treasury Secretary Tim Geitner.

Subtitled: How to make people think you are above the law

4. My Walkabout- in South America, by Governor Mark Sanford.

Subtitled: Using International Call Forwarding to cover Your Ass.

5. Making Friends in the Bathroom, by Rep Larry Craig.

Subtitled: Foot Ware Favored by Law Enforcement

6. Light Skin Negro’s I have known, By Senator Harry Reid.

Subtitled: White Sounding Dialects for Success

7. Shifting Blame to others, by President Barack Obama.

Subtitled: If you don’t like this book- I inherited it from Bush.

8. Sex in the Office, By Senator John Ensign

Subtitled: Don’t Eat where you %$#@…

9. Intelligent Quotations, by Vice President Joe Biden.

Subtitled: Pages left intentionally Blank.

10. Let them eat Cake, by Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

Subtitled: Traveling in Style on the Government dime.

Warming Up...

It is finally getting back to the normal Florida weather… tomorrow, upper 70’s. After my weekly biscuit and gravy breakfast at the local diner---paddles on stand-by- Denise and I will drop the top on the Mustang and cruise to the beach and read a bit. The water is too cold (62 degrees) for swimming- then after a bit we will wander over to Ozona for a grouper sandwich and the best wings I have ever tasted…

My current situation is that I am getting good sleep more nights than not---still some challenges, but nothing I can’t deal with. The Ohio State trial CAL 101 seems to be giving me more energy- so I am doing more and more around here. I still have to go to Columbus once a month- but I usually do 24-48 hours at most. I do need to remember that I am not back at 100%- but I never liked moderation before- why start now...

Spent some time in the attic and sheds...Got the golf clubs out and bike- both need to be cleaned up. I also saw my tennis rackets…(still upstairs)maybe in a month or so… my dog Quincy seems to have benefitted from the tennis balls. I have a couple of friends coming down south within the next month- and my son and family (with my 3 year old granddaughter Ona...) in March for some spring training games.

I have been somewhat absent from the forums and sites I frequent- taking a bit of a vacation from the CLL… Still reading (lurking) and praying for my CLL family... May will be six years since my diagnosis. May disprove the averages once more in my life... That is my goal- as always.

Basically, I wanted to write something so I could get that New Years Eve photo off the top of the blog…


Maybe more Sunday(?)prior to the premiere of "24".







God Bless

A Blue Moon New Years's eve

We had a great time New Years Eve... the weather cooperated- 70 degrees- which allowed us to sit outside on the top deck for the cruise. The fireworks were spectacular- we were about 300 feet from the barge that set off the fire works... And other than a slight hitch with the Mustang- when we got back to the parking garage it would not start---we wondered how long AAA would take on New Year's Eve, but were delighted to find a loose ground wire...easily fixed and we were off- top down. It has been a long time since I have seen two o clock twice in one day...I needed the fresh air.

I told Denise I would take her on another cruise for the next blue moon New Year's eve-- 2029...

Until then, back to switching on and off the porch lights...

God Bless,